Don’t ask me how it works, who invented it or if it even does really work, but the X-Ray bag displays the contents for the world to see. That big wad of cash, the once discreet gold bar, the stack of iPhones you were trying to hide and a felt satchet of diamonds. Or maybe all you’ve got is a pack of gum, a ball of twine, a rubber-band, and a large caliber handgun. Talk about intrusive…

ThinkGeek (as always, here-ye, here-ye) has the perfect bag to suit your needs. Whodathunk that an X-Ray bag would be all the rage? (No comment.) All the same, the “X-Ray tote and shoulder bags, made of a space-age woven plastic fiber, appear to have been bombarded by X-rays, and have magically made your eyes sensitive to their reflection.” w00t! “It appears as though your stuff has gone through the security check at the airport (although, we highly recommend AGAINST carrying these through such a checkpoint as the NTSB, as a rule, has no sense of humor).”

“Show everyone your iPod, stack-o-benjamins, eye-drops, nail clippers, lollipop, sunglasses, and prescriptions as well as your pepper-spray, switchblade, brass knuckles and revolver. Maybe you’ve really got that stuff in your bag, but then again, maybe you don’t! The indecision will make any potential thief pause in confusion long enough for you to be out of sight and long gone. Who knew personal security could be had through the power of suggestion?”

Speaking of which, a cardboard cut-out of PC Bob Molloy was just yesterday reported stol… But that’s a different story for you to chase up.

NOTE: Yes, yes, yes… This IS just a gag. No real X-Ray bag here I’m afraid. It is for sale however at ThinkGeek.