Microsoft Windows Really Good. Pirated straight outta Redmond, our source, who wished not to be named alerted us to the ‘plethora of advanced new capabilities’ and ‘totally retro design’. Clippy the paperclip finally gets his comeuppance too. I’m McLovin’ it. With rehauled, advanced new ‘related help’, results are refined to match your search habits. Windows Media Player comes preloaded with a fanfare of 1930s trumpet music, along with a psychadelic lighting display, courtsey of the Classic French Horn Trumpeting Society Of Redmond. Nothing however, (and bear in mind, I do mean NOTHING) comes close to Windows Really Good’s “Order Food” feature. Just click ‘n’ order. Select from Microsoft’s wide range of prune juice, sliced ham, chickpeas and… prune juice. It appears there may be a few inital availability problems, my source tells me that (quite honestly) Microsoft are working around the clock to import fresh chickpeas, from wherever need be.

Our insider also let us in on the pricing scheme (world exclusive).

Windows Really Good Basic - $299 (£199)
Windows Really, Really Good - $399 (£299)
Windows Really, Really, Really Good - $499 (£399)

Again, we see slightly unfair translation of US, to UK pricing, but what the heck. For software this good, nobody’s gonna be complianing! For ‘once’, Microsoft can clearly admit they stole nothing from Apple. Jobs my man, you have nothing on ‘em. Word has it that validation will be much improved over Vista’s ’stodgy’ validity program.

Sure, WindowsRG like any other operating system, has a few of it’s own unique bugs to sort out, but even if RG hit the shelves in it’s current form, I’m pretty sure it’s allure and general appeal would attract customers by the millions. David Wilkinson reports - TechZi.net

UPDATE: Talk about geurilla marketing. Word has it that Steve Ballmer is at it again with his famous “In Yer’ Face - Buy Or Die” Marketing! Run for cover. It’s not the daleks. It’s not the cybermen. It’s not even the… (Dang. Use your imagination.) No! It’s Mr Ballmer’s squeeky voice!

And that concludes things nicely.

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