I’m not even going to voice my opinions on this one.

…

Okay - so the ‘senile old man‘ (in their words, not mine) forced me. “Sir” Elton John - You are about to get whacked.

Incase you’ve not already heard the story, Elton is hell-bent on banning the Internet for five years as part of one of his stupid little experiments (remember… Like destroying all religion?) and has (so far) been greeted only by a torrent of anger (no surprises).

“Sales of Elton’s last album The Captain & The Kid were disappointing — it barely shifted 100,000 copies. And in the past Sir Elt has opposed illegal downloading of his music from the net.” Maybe someone is simply losing their touch? Because your music-writing ability is deteriorating (open to debate - or not in this case) does NOT make it fair to blame us for piracy. Films are pirated all the time. Video games are pirated all the time. And ya’ know what? They still ship millions because they ROCK.

“I mean… …communicate.” Social networking, e-mail, instant messaging, (lemme know when to stop) in additon to VoIP, online photo albums and a whole host of other REAL communication methods have meant we end up spending more time talking (and dealing with people) than ever before. Of course, a guy who spends his life signing autographs for screaming ‘fans’ might have a different perspective.

“Hopefully the next movement in music will tear down the internet.” You sir, are an ‘idiot‘ (again, not my words). You said it yourself… The Internet is tearing down music. *self contradicting foo…*

“Let’s get out in the streets and march and protest instead of sitting at home and blogging.” Or why not make a difference and blog about it? Who’s gonna be sat in the middle of the road just waiting for some stranger to come along with a floating piano, singing songs and protesting for musical pre-classical age non-existant rights!?!

“I do think it would be an incredible experiment to shut down the whole internet for five years and see what sort of art is produced over that span.” Incredible? Interesting? Dear ol’ Elton… The only reason you sold 100,000 (and were lucky at that) is because of the ‘one they call iTunes’. Go do some research before you ask your publicists to live without e-mail for five years, cause an increase in the rate of suicides amongst people my own age, etc. Mr John… This isn’t something to mess about with. The military would stop working. Police would have no criminal records data readily available. Hospitals country-wide would have no record of allergies, past medication, etc. Are you willing to sacrifice lives in the name of an ‘experiment’, or in the name of ‘art’? How many (hundreds of) millions of jobs would be lost because of your ‘experiment’? Prioritize matey. Call me controversial, but this is down right ‘retarded’.

“I am such a Luddite when it comes to making music. All I can do is write at the piano.” Well got off your bottom and try something new for once. Open your mind to possibilities, be prepared to learn… Change is necessary and your ‘ludditing’ ways cannot go on.

“Instead they sit at home and make their own records, which is sometimes OK but it doesn’t bode well for long-term artistic vision.” *cough* Arctic Monkeys *cough* Lily Allen *cough* Commenters speak for themselves.

Commenters share my pain… “One minute he wants to ban religion, the next the net. Funny he never wants to ban knighthoods for pop stars, gawdy clothes, bad hairdos or tax loopholes for the rich.”

“The 60th birthday concert Sir Elton played to a 20,000-strong crowd at New York’s Madison Square Garden was streamed live over the internet. The singer also announced earlier this year that his entire back catalogue of albums would be made available for digital download.” Go figure… Typical I already mentioned self-contradiction.

“The internet has stopped people from… …creating stuff.” Go figure. Blog. Music. Products. eBooks. Videos. Photo albums. Let your creative juices flow, boys ‘n’ girls.

I mean seriously - Elton might find hope in child-throwing rappers (things are getting stupid now… aka. real music) as opposed to people who can ACTUALLY sing (can you imagine?) but for now - the man’s staying put and isn’t moving anywhere. Not on my watch.

D.H. Lawrence once said… “You have to have something vicious in you to be a creative writer.” Sorry Elton - but today I win. via The Sun.

UPDATE: I sense a note of jealousy… Maybe he wants the net shut down because people ARE NOT downloading his music illegaly, seeing as no-one wants it, from looking at The Sun message boards.