Perpetual Motion Means World War III & Cat Crisis

Legitimate, scientific proof of perpetual motion in action. Jellied cat. The saviour of the universe, free energy for all and undoubtedly the cause of World War III. Cats selling on eBay have jumped in price to an average of $73,579 with this startling new development and governments of all nations are offering $2,000-$3,000 for mint condition cats delivered in original packaging. Unopened preferable. Jellied toast has also reached an all-time high with sixth graders flogging them to their school friend’s parent’s boss’s at a rather ‘tasty’ (no pun intended) $100 a piece.

Not a clue what I’m on about? Watch the video already. ;)

As you can see, the cat with jellied toast cannot possibly make contact with the ground, as both cats always land on their feet and toast always lands butter/jelly side down. The math is (as the video explains) incredibly simple. “The forces of the cat-jellied toast composite fall towards the ground which is described as the mathematical formula f times bracketed x = k over x creating an assetosis (sp?) graph which shows that as the composite approaches the ground it will deaccelerate until it overcomes the force of gravity at which point it will float and all downward kinetic motion will be transfered into a spinning movement.”

You know you’re a geek when you understood half of the hilarious above jibber-jabber.

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I Live In… Helms Deep!?!?

The name is Citizen. John Citizen. I was born on the 12th of June, 1975 and my passport is due to expire mid-December 2014. I’m an Australian citizen currently living in the Lord-Of-The-Rings-ish setting of Helms Deep. It’s a fair way away from any post offices, but I can get by. God bless FedEx!

Helm's Deep And Back Again - In 90 Days!

I’m thinking of growing a beard. Or maybe just a little goatee. Hmmm… That might be a good idea. I hear the Gondor women love ‘em. Of course I’d probably prefer an Elfish bride, but I’m in a bit of a dire situation here. What the heck… I’ll see you in he… Um… Mordor!

Ladies and gentelemen… David has entered the building!

via the Australian Passport Office Peoples

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Back. Hopefully.

After my longest break from blogging pretty much ever, I’m hoping to get back into the swing of things with a new post every few days and then gradually ease back into the daily posting schedule. I really appreciate you RSS readers of mine not dropping off and we’re not all that many behind where we left off. Traffic is strangely still going strong and I want to thank each and every one of you for sticking by me.

So why the sudden lack of posts? Affiliate Defined launched and heck, it ROCKS.

John says: I just purchased the Affiliate Defined ebook and I must say I am very impressed. It’s probably the best ebook I have bought in the past few months. David really knows his stuff.

AdSense-Guy says: Absolutely agreed! I rarely recommend (or read) any “guru” book, just because most are crap. This kid (or his ghostwriter) is very straightforward and the technics DO work. Good luck with it! I had my first results 30 minutes after starting to work me through the immense load of content…

Of course anybody can say anything. How much money are people makin’? One student had a $20k week. Others made that amount in 3 days. A total newbie made $100 in his first 3 days (to me, that’s more impressive than all the big numbers put together). 13 months in the making, and I’m happy.

Of course, after 3 days I pulled Affiliate Defined off the market. I had a load of upset people e-mailing me complaining they hadn’t been able to get a copy. Tough luck, I guess. Maybe I’ll relaunch sometime. Maybe I won’t. The fact is, though, I’ve been neglecting my blog and now as I have a little more time on my hand’s I’ll be back to blogging at my best.

Hold onto ya’ knickers dorothy, David’s in town!

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Yicrosoft Directory = Microsoft & Yahoo?

Yicrosoft Directory is a keyphrase given by Ryan over at SEONoobs.com for a 30 Day SEO Challenge for SEO newbies. Although there are a some SEO experts involved I’ve got my eye on Alejandro Reyes’ Yicrosoft Directory Blog.

Yicrosoft Directory was probably coined because of the recent talks about Microsoft placing a huge $44 Billion bid on Yahoo. As Microsoft and Yahoo (or Yicrosoft) go back and forth in negotiations there are some really cool logos, websites, videos, podcasts of people talking about this potential merger. Questions that are arising are: What will the name be? Will Steve Jobs become CEO? Will Miley Cyrus be the face of the company?

With all these speculations, Alejandro Reyes over at Yicrosoft Director Blog is keeping you informed and updated with what’s going on with the Microsoft/Yahoo merger as well as the 30 Day Challenge.

If you’re interested in the challenge and learning SEO, definitely follow what Alejandro is doing and if you want to help him win the competetion, you can LINK to Yicrosoft Directory using the anchor text: “Yicrosoft Directory”

Good luck Alejandro with Yicrosoft Directory

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TestFreaks - Price Comparrison For Geeks

TestFreaks - Price Comparrison For Geeks

Founded by the same three geniuses who invented the ever-so-handy PriceRunner back in ‘99, TestFreaks is still very much in it’s early stages. As the title suggests, TestFreaks (which shall from now on be reffered to as ‘TF’) is the product review/price comparisson aggregation engine for geeks. Tech buffs. Audiophiles. Gamers. Gadgeteers. Camera nerds. Textaholics. People with a passion for electronics… Bringing together many of my favorite things in life (Digital Cameras, MP3 Players, Mobile Phones, Video Games and really expensive Home Cinema Systems), TF reviews everything and anything electrical.

Or rather TestFreaks doesn’t review all that much itself as far as I’m aware, but it pulls data from reviews on other sites and cleverly generates a “Freak Score” based on the information collected. They also clearly display what the “user opinion” is on the product and then compare it to the “expert view”, calculating Freak Grades to help you in your buying decisions. Performance, Features, Value For Money and Ease Of Use rankings are also shown.

The site also rather ingeniously pulls different product shots for each item on the site so you can view the geekery in all it’s full color glory. Manufacturers description is shown on the individual item pages along with prices, related products and all the above stats mentioned. That’s not to mention all the “coming soon” additions promised by Kristofer, Magnus and Martin. No dates on when we can expect these new features, but I for one am eagerly anticipating them…

* Product Specification
* WikiFreak Description
* Add your own review
* Share Videos
* Share Photos

Sprinkle with the already-in-place ajaxy live search and you’ve got one hip-hop Web 2.0 review engine, I’m telling ya’! Design is also pretty darn incredible. Lovin’ the color scheming - nice break from the industry’s traditional black on white. TestFreaks - You’ve got my vote for President!

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Whopper Freakout

“Home of the whopper.” Oh cow - just look at the stunned looks on their faces. :P

http://www.whopperfreakout.com/

This is TV at it’s best. ;)

I tried embedding the video but things didn’t quite work out. As usual - apologies for the lack of posts. Product launches take it out of ya’. O_O

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Bill Gates Retirement Fun-Fest

The celebrated celebratory, honorary retirement video created to serve as a lasting memory for Bill Gates has finally hit the net… (WARNING: Mild language.)

You like? And keeping in line with the retirement festivities, Bill Gates has created his own viral video. And yes, the CNBC anchor thinks he’s sexy. It’s official.

Bill - When I was growing up I used to think you were a bit of a scumbag. Since then my opinions have changed and what can I say? You’re one smart marketer. We’ve alot to learn from you. I await your $97 eBook. ;) ROFL!

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Apple Opts For Blu-Ray?

Blu-Ray Vs. HD-DVD. Are Apple backing Sony?

There are rumours that Apple will be releasing Blu-ray internal drives for their new Macs, which are to be released at this years MacWorld. This could majorly support Sony and their Blu-ray format in the HD wars against HD-DVD who are currently pulling away with cheaper discs and players, but if Apple were to change their current drives from DVD to Blu-ray this would see alot more people opting for Blu-Ray. Apple may also choose to opt for a HD-DVD/Blu-Ray combo player, to allow both formats to work, and not get involved in the format war, which could see them lose major clients and money if Blu-ray loses it.

American Technology Research analyst Shaw Wu said “We believe this is a key announcement as current Macs ship with the DVD format and Sony gains a strong ally in Blu-ray.”. These new drives would be set to ship inside the ultra-portable MacBooks which are almost definitley going to be released next week at MacWorld, which Wu also backs reports of, “We believe Apple will re-enter the sub-notebook market, but this time use NAND flash as primary storage to improve battery life, reliability, and reduce weight,” he wrote. “Our sources indicate that the possible names of this new product include ‘MacBook mini’ or ‘MacBook slim’.” This guest article has been written by Robert Day.

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What’s Taken Me So Long? And That Darn August 1st Project That’s Been Delayed For Months And Months And Months AND The Longest Title In This Blog’s History (At Least As Far As I’m Aware)

Yowsers. Other than yesterday’s post, it’s been a while since I last wrote a proper article and I never even wished you guys a Merry Christmas! Here’s to a fantastic 2008 aswell. ;)

As some of you know, Affiliate Defined has been in the works for a pretty darn long while now. A year, give or take a few weeks, as it happens. And here’s the deal… It was scheduled to originally launch on August 1st 2007, but the way things worked out, we were forced to delay it. As a result, it’s given us time to make the affiliate marketing revolution even more… Well. Impressive. ;)

The new date? February 13th. Are you gonna be there? If you’re a marketer and you’re not, you’re toast. Sorry about that. As Mike Filsaime once said… “What you don’t know WILL hurt you!”

It’s big. It’s bad. And it’s get two throwing knives in it’s boots, a Colt stuffed down it’s underware, an AK-47 slung over one shoulder, several frag grenades concealed in various pockets, a Desert Eagle up it’s sleeve, night-vision built-in and an army of secret mutant ninja ninjas for good measure. ;) And that’s just the baby…

Seeing as you’re all a tech-obsessed audience, you probably couldn’t give a poop about what I’m doing in real life, but you need to know about this. And so do your friends. And your friend’s friend’s friends. That’s called viralicity it it rocks. We were going to have a viral video round abouts here, but instead we figured that the fact Affiliate Defined is so kick-butt anyway, we probably wouldn’t need one once the word started to spread.

February 13th. It IS coming and you best be ready.

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iPhone Gets GPS In Future Update

iPod Touch.

Each firmware update from Apple brings so many screams of delight from the blogosphere and then equally as many howls of horror as all those with unlocked phones scream that they’re left with a useless brick because of their own foolishness. In the 1.1.3 update for the wonderphone however, it’s looking prety certain that the iPhone will pick up some GPS-like capabilities. As Colbert Low of b5media describes it…

The update is reported to add semi-GPS capabilities, based upon cell triangulation and multi-destination SMS texting capability to the iPhone.I call the GPS function semi-GPS since there’s no GPS receiver on the Apple iPhone and it will only be using 3 Cell towers from the Mobile Providers triangulate and provide GPS-like coordinates. It won’t be as accurate as GPS tracking but at least it will work in subways and tunnels that have mobile reception.

In other words, your phone will be able to act pretty much like a GPS device would, without any extra hardware, chips, mods or additions needed to be made in order to get in working. Incredible clever, if you ask me. Which (of course) you didn’t. ;) via The Gadget Blog

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